


Too Good At Goodbyes

by Rose_Thorns_99



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Clizzy - Freeform, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Thorns_99/pseuds/Rose_Thorns_99
Summary: Izzy reflects his relationship with Clary from the beginning to the present, a very special moment.#Please disregard the events of the original works.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Kudos: 8





	Too Good At Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Too Good At Goodbyes](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/608683) by Eu mesma, Carol Sequetho aka Rose Thorns. 



> First, I would like to apologize for any grammatical errors you may encounter in the story, I am Brazilian and I am translating into English with the help of my dictionary and the Google translator, so please be patient.
> 
> Now about the story:  
> It's a very sad fic, Clizzy, who runs away from the content of the series and books, but it's based mainly on the more intimate and friendly relationship that the girls have in the series, I hope you like it ♥  
> I suggest that whoever wants to cry together listen to the theme song, preferably in the version below:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJqT-Ylyu14  
> Good reading and for the love of god comment

You must think that I'm stupid

You must think that I'm a fool

You must think that I'm new to this

But I have seen this all before

Isabelle Lightwood was not the romantic type who blindly believed in love and all its nonsense, no, she was absolutely sure that she would never give her heart to anyone, be it mundane, underworld, or even any shadowhunter. But Clarissa Fairchild or Fray had definitely changed everything.

The redhead had held her heart hostage since the beginning, she remembered perfectly that night when little Clary ended up getting involved, or rather, witnessing one of her fights against demons at the Pandemonium nightclub, that was the first time Izzy had felt any kind. of attraction to a woman, and more than that. When Jace brought her to the institute, his first instinct was to want to run away from that girl, but he still stayed by her side until she woke up, looking at those intense and greenish orbs. He lent him some of his clothes and .... that's when everything started to get out of his control. Lightwood knew that Clary was dangerous to her heart. She was not stupid, she saw her ‘fairy tale’ unfold perfectly and didn’t intend to let herself be hurt and hurt in the process. But again, his plans did not seem to go as expected.

I'm never gonna let you close to me

Even though you mean the most to me

'Cause every time I open up, it hurts

So I'm never gonna get too close to you

Even when I mean the most to you

In case you go and leave me in the dirt

Sitting there, in that stupidly white room next to Alec, Magnus, Jace and Simom, she knew she was right from the start to fear Clary's approach, to fear that damn strange feeling that had surfaced in her the instant the redhead had touched him the first time. A long time had passed since then, and now their stories were narrated everywhere: They had saved the whole world from terrible destruction, the war was over and finally the Shadowhunters were beginning to give greater chances to those mestizos of other races ... That it represented a great start to a new era. But some stories, the brunette knew, would never be told.

No one would hear about the forbidden romance he had with Clary, about how he had gradually surrendered himself to the redhead, full of suspicions and fears, always one step at a time, stepping back numerous times and rejecting her out of fear, for a greater feeling. A bigger reason. Never letting Fray be sure to have it all. Izzy had closed in on her in many ways even though it was very painful to do. It was the best, he repeated in his mind again as he closed his eyes, letting his head fall to the side and lean against Simom's shoulder. She had made the right choices.

But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry

And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry

And every time you walk out, the less I love you

Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true

It was painful to remember all that, but it was a comforting pain. Isabelle had never had any illusions about her romance with Clary, only Alec and they knew about her feelings. It had been something fleeting, the result of the doubts that the redhead had about her feelings about Simom and Jace. And perhaps the lack of both, or at least she tried hard to believe those words every time she needed to see the other kissing with one of the boys, exchanging statements and promises that Izzy knew would never be made to her. And with each scene she saw, she told herself that one day the pain would lessen, maybe disappear.

She loved Clary. That was a damn certainty that he would carry with him forever, even though he was engaged to another man, even though he knew that Clary had given himself body and soul to Jace. She would always belong to that damned redhead. But I was hoping that one day the pain would go away.

I'm way too good at goodbyes

(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

I'm way too good at goodbyes

(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

They had kissed for the last time months before, he remembered the sweet taste of the redhead's lips next to hers, the caresses they exchanged and how shortly after that Izzy had told Clary that she could no longer maintain that colorful friendship. It wasn't right with Jace, it wasn't right with them. Then he said goodbye to love that very afternoon.  
And shortly after, as if Lightwood had predicted, that news had come over him, like a slap in the face. Or rather, a knife in your heart.

I know you're thinkin 'I'm heartless

I know you're thinkin 'I'm cold

I'm just protectin 'my innocence

I'm just protectin 'my sou

There, with his eyes closed, he faltered for a few moments, leaving several memories taking him. All those fights, all the times she had run away from Clary avoiding admitting to Redhead her real feelings ... but in the end it was no use ...

"You can't be serious, Isabelle!"

"But I am, Clary. You love Jace, it doesn't do us any good. He came back and is not really his brother, if even Simon gave up ... who am I to insist?

He had spoken those words to her with a pounding heart, almost jumping from his chest, the redhead inches from her body stared at her, shocked, wide eyes shining with pure indignation, rage and ... maybe love mixed with fear? She couldn't say

\- Don't make me choose between you, Izzy ...

\- Don't make me look Jace in the eye again and tell him we're just friends. I do not like lies. ‘’ Because we know I would never be the choice, Clary. ’’ He added mentally, Fray lifted his hand and caressed his face in a tender, passionate way, brushing his lips, teasing him, awakening him as only she could

\- For those who don't like lies ... you insist on living behind a wall made by them ...

And kissed him. One last kiss. Slow, breathless, intense ... even now she was able to relive perfectly all the sensations he had caused her, to feel her body firm against his, her breasts still touching her clothes, her hands cold on the back of her neck scratching and pulling a few light brown strands, her own hands firm on her waist, the battle between the tongues, the tastes of the strawberry mixing with the chocolate ... And then the end, when she slowly pulled away completely and looked in his eyes, Izzy had understood each of the messages hidden in that look

‘’ Ask me to stay, change your mind, don’t let me go ’’

-Then that's it? Is that what you really want? Just my friendship?

She questioned with her eyes glued to his, of all the moments in her life, that was the worst, the most difficult and painful that she faced, her mind wandered to all the kisses they exchanged, to the nights of love they had. kisses that she had distributed in that wonderful body ... Clarissa was an angel with a body full of temptations and Isabelle had tasted each of them, she will visit heaven many, many times for whole nights tasting Clary's taste, mixing her tastes, seeing a thousand and one stars when the girl's hands and lips touched her with such idolatry and passion never seen or felt by Isabelle.

She wanted to believe it was just carnal desire, but it went beyond that. But Jace was her brother, and even before her, Clary's heart, or part of it, somehow belonged to the blond boy.

-Yes. I see you only as a friend, Clary. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way, but what we have has gone too far for me.

Lied. She told herself that she was protecting herself from even greater pain. He felt that she wouldn't be completely his, there would always be Jace. They knew Simom's story, knew everything the boy had suffered for giving himself up, admitting and really trying to live his feelings for Clary with the same fearlessness. In the end, her choice had been Jace. It was enough to discover that they were not brothers, and she had slowly plummeted back into his arms.

Besides, Simom did not even suspect the case he had with her while the two were already in relationship. It was sad, but in the end Izzy knew that history had everything to repeat itself. She wouldn't be a fool. Isabelle Lightwood would not let her heart break.

Or at least break it even more.

I'm never gonna let you close to me

Even though you mean the most to me

'Cause every time I open up, it hurts

So I'm never gonna get too close to you

Even when I mean the most to you

In case you go and leave me in the dirt

After that night absolutely everything changed, and it was your fault. She had indeed given up without a fight.  
‘’ Cowards like you don’t deserve love. ’’  
She thought mentally cursing herself. He had never made it clear to Clary that he loved her more than as a friend. And when the redhead said ‘‘ I love you ’’ for the first time, she asked her about what form that love was. When Clary was unable to answer, she was sure that her feelings were far from equal ... and said that she did not know how he felt about her romantically, but he loved her and very much as a friend.

But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry

And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry

And every time you walk out, the less I love you

Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true

\- Jonathan Christopher Herondale?

A short, middle-aged woman came into the room calling for Jace, he got up quickly in a worried and restless way

-She is fine? Did something happen?

Everyone seemed concerned. Izzy felt her heart squeeze painfully, now with her eyes open she squeezed her fiancé's hand, Simom. He returned the grip weakly. He was worried about his best friend as much as she was.

\- She is fine sir, you and your family can come in to see Miss Clarisse. Dr. Benjamin made an exception and everyone can enter, after all war heroes deserve certain rule breaks.

They got up as quickly as possible and went to the other room accompanied by the woman, a nurse.

I'm way too good at goodbyes

(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

I'm way too good at goodbyes

(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

No way that you'll see me cry

(No way that you'll see me cry)

I'm way too good at goodbyes

(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

\- Izzy?

\- Hey Clary, what's up? Jace said he needed to talk to me! How are you my angel? I swear if he did something stupid ...

\- Jace proposed to me, Isabelle!

She had said, throwing herself into his arms and hugging him as tightly as possible. Izzy just froze, scared, terrified. He didn't know what to say, he just kept the young woman trapped against him by squeezing her as hard as he could, inhaling all her scent.

-And you accepted...?

He murmured, it felt like hours had passed, but it was only a few minutes.

-I said yes...

She will respond quietly, squeezing you even more and crying. Isabelle hadn't understood the tears, hadn't been able to understand the situation. Jace and Clary were too young and the boy was already proposing ... nothing had made sense in his mind. Until I knew the real reason. Until his world collapsed at once. When he heard it he felt like he was going to vomit and now while evoking that memory the sensation came back little by little.

No

No, no, no, no, no (I'm way too good at goodbyes)

No, no, no, no

No, no, no (I'm way too good at goodbyes)

(No way that you'll see me cry)

(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

  
The room had a strange smell. All hospital rooms did. Izzy didn't go to them much anyway, the runes healed faster and she was too good to end up being hurt badly enough to need it. But she definitely hated that smell. When entering the room the first thing that his eyes sought were Clarissa's eyes. The green orbs also sought theirs and stuck there for long minutes, glowing sadly in a silent apology. In a painful plea for something they could no longer have now.

-Hi love, guys ...

She murmured, smiling weakly, and then Izzy's eyes fell on the mound of flesh dressed in a tiny black jumpsuit.

\- My little girl.

Jace murmured, in a puzzled and contented way as he went to the two of them and kissed the redhead passionately and then lightly stroked the child's head with his fingertips ... Izzy hugged Simom forcing a smile for that scene. The memories of the night he found out about Clary's pregnancy falling on him like anchors.

'Cause every time you hurt me, the less that I cry

And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry

And every time you walk out, the less I love you

Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true 

It was cold that night, the memory was clear, Clarissa was hugging her while they talked on the roof, she explained everything that had happened slowly as if talking to a child. It was true that when that punch hit Isabelle in the stomach, she felt like a child. A knife seemed to cut his heart into tiny pieces with every word spoken by Clary, and when he thought it couldn't get any worse, it actually got worse.

_I'm pregnant with him Isabelle ...

\- Pregnant? From Jace?

\- Yes, from Jace ... that's why he wants to get married as soon as possible, as soon as the baby is born.

He felt something in himself die when he heard those words. But it went further, they wanted her to be the child's godmother, in addition to the day. She and Simom. The godparents of the little baby. Isabelle was with Clary all the days of the pregnancy, Jace could not make herself so present but she did her best and seemed to have everything to be a great father. Izzy bought the baby's first clothes, the first toys, the room decor. All. It was a girl, they decided to call her Jocelyn Luna Fairchild Herondale. Izzy had suggested Luna. Clary and Jace loved it and really put it on the kid.

For nights she found herself wishing that it was all a nightmare, but it wasn't. The child in Clary's arms was now the greatest proof of that.

\- Izzy?

He heard the voice so sweet calling to him and even though the tears were fighting madly to leave, he smiled.

\- Yes Clary? Do you need something?

She asked, sweetly approaching and avoiding looking at the child

\- Well I don't, but Luna wants to meet her godmother! Walk without nonsense! come and get your goddaughter in your lap for the first time!

When they put her in his arms, it was the first time that he actually looked at her: Luna had Clary's eyes, green and strong, shiny, and her thinning hair also looked red. There was really little of Jace in her, but Izzy knew that that could change over time. Much more than the appearance would come to manifest in that child.

\- Hi little one ...

He murmured smiling and letting some tears escape when the little girl was lulled. There was no harm, not at that moment, everyone would think, except Clary and Alec, who were tears of emotion and happiness.

Isabelle Lightwood loved Clarissa Fairchild / Fray. They had lived a beautiful, intense and sadly fleeting romance. She could never really call Clary hers. And the baby in her arms was definitely confirmation of that. It would always be a forbidden and impossible love. But she was happy for the little one.

His heart ached like hell. But she would get over it. I would always get over it.

(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, please comment


End file.
